Saturday, August 23, 2008

Some Truths about Pregnancy

It's funny how you think you know all about something until it happens to you. For example, I have plenty of friends who have already had babies and I thought I knew the adventures pregnancy would hold. Ha, was I wrong. Every month brought something new that made me think, "now why has nobody ever told me this before?" Then I figured out maybe it's because I never knew to ask. So, I wanted to share just a few things that I've learned throughout the last 37 weeks of my life.
1. No matter how great of shape you are in, a trip from your bed to the couch can be the most exhausting 25 feet you'll ever walk.
2. Maternity clothes are not one size fits all. What fits you in the beginning won't necessary do the job in the end.
3. Hot flashes are not just for menopausal women; pregnant women get them too. So when your spouse complains that the house is 70 degrees and why does the ceiling fan need to be on all night too, it's okay to tell him to shut up or go sleep in the other room.
4. Pregnancy has a way of taking the nicest people and making them say the dumbest things. I mean, is it really necessary to tell me how big my rear end has gotten or that my face looks fatter, people?!? (And by the way, that's really not a smart thing to say to a pregnant woman when that pregnant woman is your boss).
5. Even the most adoring spouse is going to get scared to death of all the ways pregnancy changes the body. (Hubby never said anything per se but I've caught the shear look of terror on his face on multiple occasions).
6. By the end of pregnancy, intimacy with your spouse can be equated to a middle school dance (as my mother always said, "Make sure you leave room for the Holy Spirit!" Don't worry, Ma, with this belly, we have room for the Father, Son AND the Holy Spirit).
7. And lastly, you start missing parts of your body that you just always took for granted. Me? I miss my feet.

4 comments:

sj said...

HA!

i love that picture.

and thank you for all of these hidden truths that no one warns you about... even my sisters remain a little quiet on the topic.

FunnyGal KAT said...

Yeah, I couldn't understand why your employees kept insulting you! I mean, it's one thing to tell a friend or coworker that they've really packed on the pounds during pregnancy, but you should probably avoid insulting the person who holds the fate of your job in their hands.

Srg said...

Along the lines of missing certain parts of your body is the inability to REACH certain parts of your body. Tying shoes becomes virtually impossible. You start to feel like a 4 year old again when you have to ask your spouse to tie your shoes for you in the morning! On the upside - a pedicure becomes so much more than just luxury service!

Molly said...

I could not wash my feet and I had cankles. My ankles are normally so bony (the only damn part of my body that's skinny) and then all of a sudden my calves ran into my feet and I no longer had ankles but cankles. It was horrific and I suffer flashbacks every now and then and still get traumatized. The one nice thing that my mom did for me was wash my feet because I couldn't reach - it was the sweetest thing.